> > >  Subject: Fw: Fw: If Santa answered his mail honestly!!!!!!
> > >  Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2000 17:20:51 -0800
> > >
> > >  >
> > >  > > > >  > > >>If Santa answered his mail honestly...
> > >  > > > >  > > >>-----------------------------------------
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer
> > >  > > Xmas. Iv bena
> > >  > > > >  > > >>gud boy all yeer.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Yer Frend,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>BiLLy
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Billy,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Nice spelling. You're on your way to a
> > >  > > career in lawn
> > >  > > > >  > > >>care. How about I send you a fucking book
> > >  > > so you can
> > >  > > > >  > > >>learn to read and write? I'm giving your
> > >  > > older brother
> > >  > > > >  > > >>the space ranger.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>At least HE can spell!
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>-----------------------------------------
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Santa,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>I have been a good girl all year, and the
> > >  > > only thing I
> > >  > > > >  > > >>ask for is peace and joy in the world for
> > >  > > everybody!
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Love,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Sarah
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Sarah,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>You're parents smoked pot when they had
> > >  > > you, didn't
> > >  > > > >  > > >>they?
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>-----------------------------------------
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Santa,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>I don't know if you can do this, but for
> > >  > > Christmas,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get
> > >  > > back together.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Please see what you can do.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Love,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Teddy
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Teddy,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Look, your dad's banging the babysitter
> > >  > > like a screen
> > >  > > > >  > > >>door in a hurricane. Do you think he's
> > >  > > gonna give that
> > >  > > > >  > > >>up to come back to your fat mom, who
> > >  > > rides his ass
> > >  > > > >  > > >>constantly? It's time to give up that
> > >  > > dream. Let me
> > >  > > > >  > > >>get you some nice Legos instead.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>---------------------------------------
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Santa,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>I want a new bike, a Playstation, a
> > >  > > train, some G.I.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a
> > >  > > tuba.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Love,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Francis
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Francis,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I
> > >  > > bet you're
> > >  > > > >  > > >>gay.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>-----------------------------------------
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Santa,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>I left milk and cookies for you under the
> > >  > > tree, and I
> > >  > > > >  > > >>left carrots for your reindeer outside
> > >  > > the back door.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Love,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Susan
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Susan,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Milk gives me the runs and carrots make
> > >  > > the deer fart
> > >  > > > >  > > >>in my face when riding in the sleigh. You
> > >  > > want to do
> > >  > > > >  > > >>me a favor?
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Leave me a bottle of scotch.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>-----------------------------------------
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Santa,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>What do you do the other 364 days of the
> > >  > > year?
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Are you busy making toys?
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Your friend,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Thomas
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Thomas,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>All the toys are made in China. I have a
> > >  > > condo in
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Vegas, where I spend most of my time
> > >  > > making low-budget
> > >  > > > >  > > >>porno films. I unwind by drinking myself
> > >  > > silly and
> > >  > > > >  > > >>squeezing the asses of cocktail
> > >  > > waitresses while
> > >  > > > >  > > >>losing money at the craps table.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Hey, you wanted to know.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>----------------------------------------
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Santa,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you
> > >  > > really know
> > >  > > > >  > > >>when we're awake, like in the song?
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Love,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Jessica
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Jessica,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Are you really that gullible? Good luck
> > >  > > in whatever
> > >  > > > >  > > >>you do.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>I'm skipping your house.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>----------------------------------------
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dear Santa,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>I really really want a puppy this year.
> > >  > > Please please
> > >  > > > >  > > >>please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Timmy
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Timmy,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>That whiney begging shit may work with
> > >  > > your folks, but
> > >  > > > >  > > >>that crap doesn't work with me. You're
> > >  > > getting a
> > >  > > > >  > > >>sweater again.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>-----------------------------------------
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Dearest Santa,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>We don't have a chimney in our house, how
> > >  > > do you get
> > >  > > > >  > > >>into our home?
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Love,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Marky
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Mark,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>First, stop calling yourself "Marky",
> > >  > > that's why
> > >  > > > >  > > >>you're getting your ass whipped at
> > >  > > school. Second, you
> > >  > > > >  > > >>don't live in a house, you live in a
> > >  > > low-rent
> > >  > > > >  > > >>apartment complex. Third, I get inside
> > >  > > your pad just
> > >  > > > >  > > >>like all the burglars do, through your
> > >  > > bedroom window.
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Sweet Dreams,
> > >  > > > >  > > >>Santa
> > >  > > > >  > > >>
> > >  >
> > >  >
> > >  > _______________________________________________________
> > >  > Do You Yahoo!?
> > >  > Get your free @yahoo.ca address at http://mail.yahoo.ca
> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________________
> > Send a cool gift with your E-Card
> > http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/
> >
> >
>